Stop The Spiral: How To Focus On What You Can Control
You may be feeling like you can’t control these thoughts that harm your self-esteem, hope for the future, or relationships. However, by better understanding the nature of negative thinking patterns and learning how to challenge them, you have the power to regain control over your life.
Read: What is Doomscrolling? Why We Like Problematic News & How to Scroll Away
Understanding the worry spiral
The inclination to worry about uncontrollable factors is rooted in cognitive distortions, or untrue, often harmful views of reality. These patterns lead to negative thinking and can be a source of great emotional turmoil. Let’s explore some common cognitive distortions you might recognize in your own negative thoughts:
Catastrophizing: Envisioning the worst possible outcomes, regardless of their likelihood
Overgeneralization: Drawing broad, negative conclusions from a single event
Black-and-white thinking: Seeing things in only two categories (good or bad) with no middle ground
Personalizing: Believing that events are directly related to you, even when they are not
Fortune telling: Predicting future events, usually negatively, despite having no basis for these predictions
Many studies have linked such distortions to increased anxiety and depressive symptoms. For instance, this 2023 study found that cognitive distortions act as a mediator to depressive symptoms in patients with major depressive disorder (MDD). This link highlights the importance of seeking professional help if you recognize cognitive distortions in your thinking patterns.
Read: 7 Cognitive Distortions to Uproot from Your Belief System
What you can and can’t control
The first step in managing these spiraling thoughts is recognizing the difference between what we can and cannot control. While we can’t influence global events or predict the future, we can control our responses and how we let these events affect us. It’s about shifting focus from external uncertainties to internal certainties, like our attitudes, decisions, and actions.
Here are examples of things we often worry about that we can’t control:
- Global events, natural disasters, and future uncertainties
- Other people’s actions and feelings
- Your past actions
- Others’ opinions and judgments
- Weather and environmental conditions
If you recognize any of these that you may worry about, try to focus on something you can control, such as:
- Your outlook on events
- Your responses to others’ behavior
- Self-care and health habits
- Setting and pursuing personal goals
- How you spend your time and with whom
Read: How to Cope in Times of Crisis
How to break free from the spiral
Step 1: Recognize the signs of a worry spiral
- Physical symptoms: Notice physical signs like increased heart rate, restlessness, or insomnia.
- Repetitive thoughts: Be aware of recurring worry themes, especially those focusing on distant, uncontrollable events.
- Cognitive distortions: Compare your thoughts to common cognitive distortions that may be harming your view of reality.
- Emotional impact: Feelings of helplessness, anxiety, or prolonged sadness may be indicators of spiraling.
Step 2: Mindfulness and grounding
Practice mindfulness exercises like focused breathing or sensory grounding – identifying things you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell in the immediate moment.
Step 3: Challenge cognitive distortions
Challenge anxious or depressive feelings by searching for evidence. Confront your thoughts with questions like “What proof do I have for this thought?” and “Is there evidence against this thought?”
For an alternative perspective, ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who had this thought?” to practice treating yourself with compassion—even when it feels difficult.
Step 4: Journaling and reflection
Write down your worries to externalize and analyze them. Reflect on whether they are within your control and how they align with identified cognitive distortions.
Read: “I’m not good at anything”: How to Change the Way You Think About Yourself
Focus on what you can control
Shifting your mental energy towards controllable aspects can bring a sense of empowerment and relief.
- Set small, achievable goals. Concentrate on manageable actions, like organizing a space, engaging in a hobby, or planning a meet-up with friends.
- Practice self-compassion. Challenge thoughts that are unkind to yourself and be compassionate with yourself during this process. Understand that managing worries is a skill that takes time to develop.
- Develop a healthy routine of self-care. A structured routine provides a sense of control and normalcy. A self-care routine includes regular sleep times, healthy meals, and exercise.
- Seek professional support. When the spiral seems overwhelming, consider therapy. Therapists can offer targeted strategies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to manage these worries more effectively.
Mastering the art of focusing on what you can control can break the cycle of worry and help you build resilience against challenges you may experience with depression or anxiety. Resilience doesn’t mean the absence of worry; rather, it’s about bouncing back and not letting these worries dominate your life.
If you’re seeking specialized support in managing social anxiety in Texas, consider booking a virtual appointment with us at Austin Anxiety and Trauma Specialists. Our expertise in CBT and EMDR treatments for anxiety can help you regain control of your life. It can get better. We can help.
