There’s a certain kind of quiet that comes with being single, especially after being in a relationship for a long time. Sometimes it feels peaceful, like you finally have room to breathe and make decisions at your own pace. But other times, the quiet can feel heavy.
Scrolling through social media can be tough, with couple challenges flooding your For You page and engagement photos popping up when you least expect them. Loneliness can settle in like a fog—and when you’re lost in it, intrusive thoughts may start to creep in: What if I’m the problem? What if I never find someone?
Anxiety and low self-esteem often go hand in hand, especially during transitions like a breakup or a long stretch of being single. Your inner critic may get a lot louder than usual, trying to convince you everyone else is moving forward—and you’re being left behind. But that voice isn’t kind or truthful. Being single doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means you’ve started a new season. And like Carrie and the girls from Sex in the City, you’re just getting started.
Keep reading: Ditching Dating Apps? Try Mindful Dating (Very Demure, Very Cutesy)
8 Ways To Feel Better About Being Single
This new season has a lot in store—new connections, experiences and rediscovery. It may be hard to know where to start, but here are 8 therapist-backed ways to feel more grounded as you navigate this new chapter of your life.
Name what you’re feeling, without shame
Feeling lonely, uncertain or embarrassed about being single doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human. Acknowledging those feelings can help quiet spiraling, negative thoughts. When you identify your emotions—especially the hard ones—you practice emotional regulation and help reduce stress. Try saying them out loud or write them out in a journal. Be you, unapologetically.
Reconnect with the people who really get you
Romantic connection isn’t the only kind that matters. Quality time with friends, family or your chosen community can help with any loneliness that being single can bring. Ask yourself, “Who makes me feel safe and seen?” and start there. Even just a quick coffee or jumping on FaceTime with a friend can shift your mood and remind you that you’re not truly alone.
Take a break from idealized feeds
Studies have shown negative social media interactions and comparison lead to increased anxiety and depression. If your feed is making you feel like you’re falling behind, consider muting certain accounts or curating who you follow. You might even benefit from a short social media break, giving your mind a break from all the unrealistic expectations and idealized posts.
Keep reading: Harnessing Mindfulness: Breaking Free from Doomscrolling
Redefine “alone” as “available to yourself”
Now that you’re single, you have a chance to invest in yourself. With more space to notice your needs, you can work on meeting them without compromise. This might look like cooking more of your favorite meals, spending more time outside, or taking a solo trip. Whether small or big, each act helps reframe being “alone” as time spent intentionally with yourself.
Look for things that make you feel fulfilled
It doesn’t have to be a big commitment or achievement—maybe it’s getting stronger at the gym or finally signing up for that dance class. Reconnecting with what makes you feel good can help add structure to your days and rebuild a sense of self that has nothing to do with your relationship status.
Start routines that make you feel cared for
Reinforce your self-worth with small routines: light a candle when you shower, journal before bed or go for a walk every morning. Consistent rituals can boost your mental health and offer a sense of stability when life feels uncertain. And if one and it doesn’t feel right, that’s okay. It’s an opportunity to learn about yourself—what works and what doesn’t.
Keep reading: The Big 5 Of Self-Care
Make room for joy, even if it’s bittersweet
You don’t have to wait until you’re “over it” to enjoy life again. Bittersweet joy is still joy. And healing isn’t linear. One moment, you might be dancing in your kitchen. The next, wrapped in a blanket as a wave of emotions hit. That doesn’t mean you’re doing worse. Everyone’s healing journey is different. What’s important is that you listen to what your mind and heart needs. Be gentle, as you would for a friend.
Reach out sooner, rather than later
If your anxiety, loneliness or self-doubt feels louder than the voices of your loved ones or if it’s been weeks and you still can’t seem to enjoy things you used to love, speaking with a therapist can help. They can offer you a space to sort through everything you’re feeling, without judgements or pressure.
Sometimes it’s hard to know how to move forward, but you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
At Austin Anxiety & Trauma Specialists, our licensed therapists are here to support you wherever you are in your healing journey. Book your first appointment today and we’ll help you rediscover your confidence. You’re not behind or broken—and you don’t need to wait for someone else to start feeling whole again. We can help.
