Answering the call of an unknown number can be nerve-wracking for anyone. But for some people, calling even a life-long best friend can provoke crippling anxiety.
We understand how hard it can be to make that call; tone could be misinterpreted without visual cues, immediate responses are required with little time for processing, your call could have interrupted the other person’s day. And once the calI is over, awkward moments could replay in your head for days. If the uncertainty of how a phone conversation might go makes you avoid calls altogether, you’re not alone.
Why are people afraid of phone calls?
Americans have avoided answering or making phone calls for some time now, and the reasons are complicated. According to an analysis performed in 2019, just in the first half of the year alone, the number of phone calls answered declined to less than 48% and the number of calls made dropped 17%. This study pointed to the rise in spam calls, but other more nuanced factors come into play as well, including changes in consumer behavior, particularly those of younger generations.
Millennial phone call use is dismal compared to that of the Baby Boomer generation. A survey by HighSpeedInternet.com showed that 88% of Millennials prefer texting over calling and 60% of Gen Zers and Millennials say they hate calling people. Americans aged 35 and older “generally don’t mind.” 52% of Millennials feel anxious taking calls, more than double the only 23% of Baby Boomers. Today’s tone-setters avoid speaking on the phone significantly more than the previous generation, but it may be due to more than fear of an unknown caller.
Once a fear becomes irrational, persistent, and leads to tireless avoidance, the fear is classified as a phobia. There is an entire subreddit dedicated to the fear of phone calls—what is technically referred to as “telephobia”—where redditors share everyday phone hang-ups and seek advice.
7 ways telephobia might affect your daily life
Phobias that impact daily activities can have an insidious impact on people, which can initially seem like minor inconveniences but have unforeseen and dire consequences. Here are just a few ways telephobia can impact your day-to-day life.
- You only make reservations at venues that support online booking.
- Instead of phoning to get a faulty device fixed, you live with the buggy one.
- Before a call, you feel physically uneasy and rehearse what you’ll say— Over and over.
- Unreturned and uninitiated calls cause conflict with your family and partners.
- You put off making medical appointments until your condition is severe.
- Even in an urgent situation, you send an email. Then a follow-up one.
- If a close friend or family member can’t make the call for you, the call just won’t happen.
With alternate forms of technology, people with telephobia are increasingly able to accomplish tasks while avoiding telecommunication. However, the struggles are not over with chat apps and Zoom. Telephobia redditors also post about anxiety when calls are mandated by employers, being directed to only phone numbers when seeking reliable information, and lack of consistent accessibility to healthcare providers online by patient portals.
What are the underlying causes of telephobia?
Technology may allow for temporary coping, but it cannot deter your feelings. To begin regaining agency over your ability to make phone calls, first consider possible underlying causes.
Social Anxiety. Social anxiety is an anxiety disorder that causes excessive worry and fear over performance in social situations. People with social anxiety might feel an “intolerance of uncertainty” in social settings including phone calls, as Ariane Ling, Ph.D., described in an interview with InsideHook. With a worry of performing unfavorably, those with social anxiety might imagine possible failed scenarios of answering a ringing phone. The dread of the uncertain in those with low social confidence can cause self-deprecating thoughts and prolong avoidance.
Depression. Depression is a mood disorder characterized by extremely low mood, fatigue, guilt, disinterest in activities, and in some cases, suicidal tendencies. With a body that feels weighted, tasks feel insurmountable and conversations in person or otherwise can feel draining and are avoided. AbbeyConnect notes that “when grief and depression last for long periods of time, a person may avoid speaking over the telephone completely.”
Trauma. Trauma is the result of extremely stressful events in which the sufferer will avoid triggering situations in order to not bring back memories of the traumatic event. Many people who have received disturbing news over the phone, been in an accident while on a phone call, or have spoken to an abuser on the phone develop telephobia. A woman on Reddit referred to as “DesertRose” commented that her telephobia symptoms became harsher since her abusive relationship ended, in which her “controlling” partner frequently asked who she was talking with on the phone.
Telephobia may be a result of deeper issues, but exposure therapy is proven to be effective when treating phobias. Some simple exercises can even be done at home.
4 steps you can take now to overcome your telephobia
- Set small call goals for yourself, such as ordering a pizza over the phone or asking for business hours.
- Roleplay your call goal in person with someone you feel comfortable with.
- Make your practiced call, and gradually find opportunities to extend the duration of your phone calls.
- Talk to your therapist about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help restructure your thoughts and response to fears through behavioral exercises.
At Austin Anxiety and Trauma Specialists, we can guide you in overcoming anxiety through treatment that’s right for your unique needs. Book your complimentary consultation call now, and we will pair you with the right therapist that best addresses your needs. We’re ready to support you.
